I was amazingly peaceful as the day launched. Right as we were leaving the hotel our guide got a call saying that our kids (there is another Lifeline family here with me in Zhengzhou...actually their son is from same orphanage as Olivia) had already arrived at the Civil Affairs office. As we got off our bus, Olivia and her Aiyi (nanny) walked by. Aiyi smiled knowingly at me.
And then it got ugly. It was not the "gotcha day" that one envisions...you walk in the door, eyes meet, and your little one comes running into your arms. No, ours was not the gotcha that makes for pretty videos or photo albums. And you most likely will not see pictures of our time prior to about 12:30p. It was that ugly. The good news that comes from Olivia clinging to her Aiyi, screaming, refusing for an hour and a half to even look at me, and jerking her body away if I tried to touch it, is that it means that she was so very well loved and cared for by the Aiyis and team at Agape that she formed deep connections. Which means that she will again be able to form deep connections. But I'm not going to lie. It was painful. My mom had to keep putting her sunglasses down over her eyes so I wouldn't see her crying. Mine got tipped down at one point, too. At dinner my parents told me that they have never prayed so much in such a short period of time.
On the trip back to the hotel the sweet thing crashed and slept. And then things started to get better.
We got to the room and she discovered her special dolls in her bed. She reached in, got them out, and climbed up on my bed with them, gently tucking them in with their heads on the pillow. We flipped through pictures on my phone and she saw a photo of some shoes. I then showed her that I had the shoes here for her. Girlfriend likes her pretty shoes. Hmm...I thought...maybe we're on to something...so I got out the bag of bows and hair things...someone loved sorting through them...getting better...pulled out her bracelets and rings and smiles were all around. Throw in some Veggie Tales and a Diet Coke and I was golden. Here is who started to emerge:
Oh...did I mention the ice cream? Aiyi said to our guide that she had promised Olivia ice cream this afternoon. NO PROBLEM. She chose Pop's favorite - chocolate - and even fed him a bite.
Back to the room for more reading and stickers (she discovered her backpack, emptied it, pulled out the stickers, repacked the bag, and likes to wheel it around the room). The cleaning staff may be a bit surprised when they discover that all of the light on/off buttons on the side of the bed have been covered with "Jesus loves you" stickers :)
After putting on different sunglasses, she had us walk down the hallway so she could knock on Mimi and Pops room so she could show them.
It is so awesome watching the personality that I knew she had emerge. At dinner she was giggles and game playing. Scooped bubbles in the bath. FaceTimed with her new friend, Regis, in Chongqing, and her Aunt, Uncle, and cousins in DC.
She lifted her arms for me to put her in bed and then initiated a hug, kiss, and the sweetest "I love you."
As I type she is sleeping soundly. Tomorrow will be a long day, so we welcome your prayers. We have a return trip to the Civil Affairs office and then a 3 hour drive up and 3 hours back from her "home city" for them to process her paperwork.
I am so grateful to friends and family around the world who have joined with us on this journey and who continue to check in, pray, and support us! Keep it coming - the adventure is just beginning! And I will be forever be thankful to the amazing team at Agape. They loved, nurtured, and cared for my daughter in such a precious way that I know will enable her to have a rich, full, and loving life!
God is good. All the time.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Praying for her and for you. Hang in there, Momma! As she grieves losing her deep connections I pray you will be comforted, knowing how God provided for her during these intervening years. I praise Him for allowing her to already start letting down her guard and showing her personality again. I'm thankful your parents went with you, it is awesome that you have that prayer support right there with you! Olivia is such a precious little sweetheart. I'm praying for both of you!
ReplyDeleteCongrats! Sending thoughts and prayers for Olivia as she settles into your family and realizes your love for her. Hoping the worst of times are over and she begins and continues to bond with you.
ReplyDeletewelcome to parenthood! one day at a time! love and hugs and prayers from Toledo!
ReplyDeleteI couldn't be happier for your whole family. Yes... my gotchas have been pretty rough too! That's good and thankful you know that. She is doing perfect! SO awesome to know you are walking the halls where we were when we got Evie! Praying for you every step of the way. Good night and sweet dreams as you sleep with one dream and prayer that came true!!!!! XOXO
ReplyDeleteLove that you had so many little surprises waiting for her to find in stages!! I am certainly taking notes from your wonderful planning ahead!
ReplyDeletePraying for you both as you walk beside her through the grief! I know Father has an amazing plan for the two of you together from here on out! Lots of Love -Joy
Happy you have your daughter at last! We had a similar "Gotcha" Day just a couple of months ago, but it is amazing the changes (for the better!) that happen in a short time. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter Ava (9 years old) and I have enjoyed reading your blog together. Congratulations! Yesterday was a rough day, but you handled it well - you're like an experienced mama already! We will continue to pray for you and Olivia.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Alicia and Ava Whitaker
Happy for you! Our Gotcha wasn't so pretty either, but every day was and is better. Hang in there. :)
ReplyDeleteCan feel your pain at that first meeting. I am so happy to tell you that it won't matter in the long run, even as she slips into and out of her grief at times during the next several months. Eventually, the bond between you two will be unbreakable! We have had three very different "Gotcha Day" moments. Each one was a different kind of painful, but you have seen my children now! Philip screamed and cried all the way back to the hotel from SF to Beijing. Elijah completely shut down for days and then emerged in a rage that lasted several months, and Sophia clung to me throughout all of China. But God. He works all things out! Love seeing your daughter and you in your pics!
ReplyDeleteYou're a Mom! Congratulations! Olivia is precious. You're doing a beautiful job helping ber work through her grief. Each day will get better and better. What a little blessing!
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